How to have a platonic friendship in London
Men and Women can never be just friends right? Something always happens down the line, whether it is a drunken kiss, a one night stand or a declaration of unrequited love.
The common opinion is always the same, "yes it can work, but..." In the past, the Male would typically work all day whilst the Woman was a designated housewife. The only interaction between the two sexes would be intimate. However, times have changed; there is more equality in our society which allows us to have friends of the opposite sex. So WHY is there still a problem?
When two heterosexuals from the opposite sex have a friendship, it is known as Platonic; "free from physical desire". The desire is also known as sexual tension, imagine a battle between Platonic and Tension, lets use some examples: A Man and a Woman become friends but they dont hang out often in London, until their social circles become closer. Now theyre hanging out more and more, the Woman is getting to know the Man more intimately, and the Man is becoming more familiar with the Woman. The sexual tension has started to build. Neither of them wants to admit the attraction, from fear of rejection and ruining the friendship. Until one night, theyve had too much to drink, the Woman is upset, the Man comforts her and one thing leads to another. This is just one scenario out of hundreds of circumstances, but the point of it is, there is always a possibility for the friendship to become sexual.
The common female opinion I received on this main subject was that "it never works out in the end", either theyve become attracted to the guy and been hurt or the guy has tried it on with them. The male point of view was different, a lot of them admitted theyve always thought about their female friends in a sexual sense but would never do anything about it. So can this friendship between a man and a woman ever work? In two particular scenario it is more likely. For example, a metrosexual guy has a similar friendship with women that gay men have because there is less tension and threat, the woman treats the guy like one of her girlfriends. On the other side, there are tomboy girls, who prefer having male friends. She is seen as "one of the lads" and there is less sexual tension between the sexes. But of course, tension can arise anywhere. Are we just kidding ourselves to think we can be close friends with the opposite sex and not get sexual? Well with the right attitude, awareness and rules it can be done!...
1) Create boundaries
There should always be a friendship boundary in place that is never broken. How do you treat your friends of the same sex? Do you act the same with friends of the opposite sex? The boundaries should be the same, if youre not attracted to them.
2) Dont socialise alone together
You should not spend a lot of time alone with them because it allows a chance for attraction to build. Its best to have your platonic friends within your social group in London, but not spending hours alone with them.
3) Keep past lovers in the past
It would be very hard to have a platonic relationship with someone who youve been intimate within the past. There may still be a lot of hidden feelings or confusion over your friendship.
4) Dont touch too much
Of course gestures like hugs and kisses on the cheek are fine between friends, but over extended embraces are not wise. If you find you and your platonic friend acting like a "couple" then maybe you need to re-assess the situation.
5) Be honest
It can be good to be up front with them. If you fear theyre may be some one way attraction, you should tell them that youre looking for friendship and nothing more. Sometimes you may have to be cruel, to be kind.
6) Use the sibling trick
This is one of the best ways to make it work. You can be good friends but keep the right distance; keep the friendship casual and social.
Like brothers and sisters.
If you have a brother or sister, treat your opposite sex friend the same. They can be your adopted sibling and if youre both aware of that, it will create a good boundary.
